Every Friday on the blog, I answer people’s questions about sex, love, and relationships. This week’s question comes from a reader of the blog who wanted to know more about what it really means to be sex-positive.
Do you think there ever comes a point when being sex positive has its limits? I mean, like anything else, being extreme is usually not a good idea. Let me elaborate using an example: I try to be a very sex positive person, and attempt not to judge other peoples' preferences, perspectives, fetishes, etc. However, I have come across a few scenarios where I found myself hesitating. One is a guy who will only have sex with women who are cheating on their spouses because that's the only thing that turns him on, and he takes zero responsibility for potentially hindering someone else's relationship. Another is a couple I met where the husband was a feeder and said he won't be "truly" attracted to his wife until she's well over 1000 lbs and basically immobilized. At this point I can't help but ask myself if being sex positive might actually be promoting something that is unethical (and unhealthy). In theory I'd like to think that sex positivity in and of itself is an ethical approach, but these extreme cases make me question that theory. What are your thoughts on this? I know it's not my place to judge others' decisions, but if we want to live in a just and respectful world, it seems that we all need to take responsibility for ourselves and play a role in that, no?