4 Things I’ll Miss About Academia—And 4 Things I Won’t

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4 Things I’ll Miss About Academia—And 4 Things I Won’t

I made a major career move this summer. After working ten years as a college professor, I decided it was time for something new: I left academia to become a full-time author. My reasons for this were both personal and professional. 

It was a tough decision to leave the academy because there are a lot of things I love about it. So here are four things I’ll miss about being a college professor—and four things I won’t miss at all.

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When are Married Couples Most Likely to Cheat? The Link Between Infidelity and Relationship Length

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When are Married Couples Most Likely to Cheat? The Link Between Infidelity and Relationship Length

I shared an article on Twitter the other day about the prevalence of infidelity, which prompted a response from my pal Dan Savage about how cheating is associated with the length of a relationship. Basically, he wanted to know whether cheating is more or less common when you look at couples that have been together for a very long time. This is an interesting question and one that I’ve actually never been asked before, so I did some digging and here’s what I found. It turned out to be a pretty interesting story. 

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Are You a “Grower” or a “Shower?”: Average Penis Length Changes From Flaccid to Erect

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Are You a “Grower” or a “Shower?”: Average Penis Length Changes From Flaccid to Erect

Some men’s penises seem to grow more than others when they change from a flaccid to erect state. In colloquial terms, men who experience a larger increase in length are often referred to as “growers”; by contrast, those who have a smaller length increase are often referred to as “showers.”

So what is the typical change in penis length from flaccid to erect—and just how many men fall into the category of grower versus shower anyway? A recent study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research offers some insight. 

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A Safe-Sex Guide For LGBTQIA Persons

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A Safe-Sex Guide For LGBTQIA Persons

Many sex education programs in the United States fail to meet the needs of sexual and gender minority students. This is especially true for programs that have an abstinence-only focus. Research has found that LGBTQIA students who take such courses report that they not only reinforce negative stereotypes, but they are also seriously lacking when it comes to providing useful and relevant information and resources [1]. 

We need comprehensive and inclusive sex education—and there are a lot of wonderful people in my field who are working to change the way that we approach sex ed around the world; unfortunately, however, there’s a lot of political resistance and progress is slow. The good news, though, is that some sex educators have begun to put together valuable educational resources for LGBTQIA students that are readily available to anyone with an internet connection. 

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Postcoital Dysphoria: When You Inexplicably Become Sad After Consensual, Satisfying Sex

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Postcoital Dysphoria: When You Inexplicably Become Sad After Consensual, Satisfying Sex

How do you feel after sex? If you’re like most people, you’re probably pretty happy. After all, “it feels good” and “it’s fun” are among the most common reasons men and women alike report having sex in the first place. We have sex, in part, because it’s a rewarding activity that creates positive affect—it tends to make us feel pretty damn good. However, not everyone experiences sex that way.

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Why So Many Women Are Drawn To Gay Male Porn

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Why So Many Women Are Drawn To Gay Male Porn

Many women find man-on-man pornography to be sexually arousing. In fact, one of the world's biggest porn sites--Pornhub--has reported that gay male porn is the second most popular category among female visitors. Many of you may be wondering what it is that draws so many women to it. A recent study published in the journal Porn Studies offers some valuable insight.

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The Stereotypes Gay Men and Lesbians Hold About Bisexual Persons

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The Stereotypes Gay Men and Lesbians Hold About Bisexual Persons

Sexual orientation is all too commonly viewed as an either/or proposition, meaning you’re either gay or you’re straight, and nothing in between. This view is widely held, even by many people within the LGBTQ community itself, as described in a recent set of studies published in the journal Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity.

Across two studies involving a total of 288 gay and lesbian participants, researchers examined attitudes toward and stereotypes of bisexuals. Here’s a brief review of their major findings:

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Celebrate 65 Years of Women's Sex Research Today

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Celebrate 65 Years of Women's Sex Research Today

Sixty-five years ago today (August 20, 1953), the media first reported on some of the major findings from Alfred Kinsey's classic book Sexual Behavior in the Human Female. As many of you know, this was the first book of its kind to really explore women's sexual attitudes and behaviors from a scientific point of view.

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What Your Sexual Fantasies Say About Your Personality

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What Your Sexual Fantasies Say About Your Personality

Our sexual fantasies appear to reflect, at least in part, our personality traits and characteristics. In studying the sex fantasies of more than 4,000 Americans for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that the Big Five personality factors of openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness, extraversion, and neuroticism were all linked to the types of fantasies people reported having. 

Below, I briefly describe what each of these traits is all about and how they are related to the types of things you’re more (or less) likely to fantasize about:

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What Actually Happens to Your Brain and Body During Sex? (Video)

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What Actually Happens to Your Brain and Body During Sex? (Video)

Why does sex tend to feel good? In order to answer this question, we need to step back and look at what our brains and bodies are doing during sexual activity. In the video below, our friends over at ASAP Science provide a handy summary of the changes that occur. 

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The 10 Most-Read Q&As on Sex and Psychology

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The 10 Most-Read Q&As on Sex and Psychology

Here's an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. These questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite the range of topics. Some of them are united by this theme: “What’s normal when it comes to sex?” Others, however, focus more on curiosity about different sexual practices, as well as what's safe when it comes to sex. 

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Why Do Men Report Having More Sex Partners Than Women?

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Why Do Men Report Having More Sex Partners Than Women?

One of the most reliable findings across studies of human sexual behavior is that heterosexual men report substantially more lifetime sexual partners on average compared to heterosexual women. In theory, the numbers reported by straight men and women should be fairly similar, right? However, we often see guys reporting partner counts that are twice as high as that of women. So why is that? How do we explain this gender difference? 

A new study published in the Journal of Sex Research offers some valuable insight.

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Can Food Put Us In The Mood? How Hunger State Influences Responses to Romantic Imagery

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Can Food Put Us In The Mood? How Hunger State Influences Responses to Romantic Imagery

Food and romance are intimately intertwined in modern dating rituals. Indeed, restaurants are one of the most popular places people visit when they go on a date. Neuroscience research suggests that there might be a very good reason for this: having a full stomach just might make our brains more sensitive to romantic cues.

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Video: The Science of "Blue Balls" and "Blue Vulva"

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Video: The Science of "Blue Balls" and "Blue Vulva"

The term "blue balls" is frequently used to describe "a dull, aching sensation that occurs during sexual arousal before or without ejaculation." You may or may not realize this, but the "blue" in blue balls actually has a dual meaning. First and most obvious is the fact that the testicles themselves actually appear to take on a bluish hue. However, this term also references the fact that blue balls is considered to be a sad experience because the implication is usually that one is aroused but cannot find sexual relief (i.e., it's often considered to be a state of sexual frustration). 

So what happens when someone gets blue balls anyway?

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Join Me in NYC on August 8 For a Course on Getting the Sex Life and Relationship You Want

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Join Me in NYC on August 8 For a Course on Getting the Sex Life and Relationship You Want

Are you getting what you want when it comes to sex? Odds are, probably not. Most of us have sexual fantasies that we wish were part of our sexual reality; however, few of us have shared these desires with our partners, let alone acted on them.

Learning to communicate our desires is vital for maintaining happy and healthy relationships. Sexual communication has a number of benefits, from establishing greater intimacy and closeness to keeping passion alive for the long haul.

So how do we get what we want? Join me for a lecture and workshop at the V Club in New York City on August 8 to learn more.

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Why Do So Many Conservative Men Wind Up In Sex Scandals With Other Men?

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Why Do So Many Conservative Men Wind Up In Sex Scandals With Other Men?

If you follow the news closely, you've probably noticed that, month after month, reports emerge about politically or religiously conservative men who find themselves embroiled in scandals in which they were caught having sex with other men. These events routinely make the news because the men involved tend to be outspoken opponents of LGBT+ rights who are caught engaging in hypocrisy.

So why does this keep happening? Why do so many conservative leaders wind up in these situations? Social psychological research offers a few potential explanations. 

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If You Could Have Sex Every Day, Would You Be Happier?

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If You Could Have Sex Every Day, Would You Be Happier?

Studies suggests that most married adults have sex somewhere between a few times per month and a few times per week (side note: sexual frequency in relationships is similar for heterosexuals and gay men, with lesbians doing it less often; however, when lesbians have sex, they spend more time on it than everyone else, which balances things out). Few couples in long-term relationships have sex every single day. But let's imagine for a second that everyone in relationships who isn't currently having daily sex (which is most of us) gave it a try. What would happen? Would all of that extra bedroom activity (or wherever it is that you like to do it) make us happier in the end? 

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Why Are Some People Sexually Attracted To Animals?

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Why Are Some People Sexually Attracted To Animals?

People who are sexually attracted to animals are often referred to as "zoophiles" in the psychological literature. Zoophilia is something that has long been considered a paraphilia, meaning an uncommon sexual interest. Although zoophilia is something that most people have heard of before, very little research exists on the subject. So what do we know about the psychology behind zoophilia anyway? 

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How To Maintain A Great Sex Life As You Get Older

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How To Maintain A Great Sex Life As You Get Older

When people think about sex and aging, they have a tendency to focus on all of the things that might interfere with sexual satisfaction as we get older, such as chronic illnesses. However, it's very much possible for people to maintain a satisfying sex life as they age even if their health status changes. To learn more about this subject, I recently spoke with author Joan Price, a self-described "advocate for ageless sexuality" who has written a number of books on sex and aging, including the award-winning Naked At Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex.

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