The Best Present You Can Give Your Partner This Holiday Season? Touch

The Best Present You Can Give Your Partner This Holiday Season? Touch

It’s that time of year when many of us begin to search frantically for the perfect holiday gift for a significant other. Despite all of the time, effort, and money we put into buying this present, though, a lot of us find that—after the holidays—it is quickly forgotten and, at best, brings only temporary happiness. You might be able to avoid that outcome this year and potentially improve your relationship at the same time by instead giving your partner a gift that promotes touch and intimacy.

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Seven Fascinating Facts About Sexual Fantasies

Seven Fascinating Facts About Sexual Fantasies

I surveyed 4,175 Americans from all 50 states about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want. Participants were asked to describe their favorite sexual fantasy of all time, as well as report on how often they fantasized about hundreds of different people, places, and things. They were also asked extensive questions about their personalities, sexual histories, and demographic backgrounds. The results are a treasure trove of information about what it is that turns us on and why. Here’s a sneak peek at seven of the most fascinating things I found:

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The Deeper Psychological Meaning Behind Your Sexual Fantasies

The Deeper Psychological Meaning Behind Your Sexual Fantasies

When we hear or read about other people’s sexual fantasies, we have a tendency to focus our attention on the specific act they describe, such as a threesome or bondage, and the physical sensations that go along with it. However, our fantasies are much more complex than this and, often, they go well beyond a desire for purely physical gratification. It turns out that we’re often seeking to meet deeper psychological needs through our fantasies, too. And depending on what your needs are at a given moment, you might very well be drawn to different types of sex fantasies.

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What the Most Sexually Satisfied Couples are Doing in (and Out of) Bed

What the Most Sexually Satisfied Couples are Doing in (and Out of) Bed

What keeps passion alive in a long-term relationship? According to a recent study of nearly 40,000 adults (all of whom were heterosexual and currently in romantic relationships), there were five key differences between people who said they were able to keep the passion going and those who weren’t. People who kept the spark alive were more likely to (1) spend time setting the mood, (2) practice sexual communication, (3) receive oral sex, (4) be happier with their relationship in general, and (5) engage in more acts of sexual variety.

While there’s a lot to be said about each of these factors, I want to focus on just one of them in this post—the role of sexual variety.

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The Best Present You Can Give Your Partner This Holiday Season? Touch

The Best Present You Can Give Your Partner This Holiday Season? Touch

It’s that time of year when many of us start a frantic search for the perfect holiday gift for a significant other. Despite putting a lot time, effort, and money into buying a present, a lot of us find that is quickly forgotten and, at best, brings only temporary happiness. You might be able to avoid that outcome this year—and potentially improve your relationship at the same time—by instead giving your partner a gift that promotes touch and intimacy.

Read More

Why We Crave Sexual Novelty--And What It Means For Our Sex Lives

Why We Crave Sexual Novelty--And What It Means For Our Sex Lives

When our interest in sex starts to wane, exposure to a new or novel partner has a way of bringing it back. This phenomenon--formally dubbed the Coolidge Effect--got its name from a popular anecdote about a visit that U.S. President Calvin Coolidge and his wife supposedly made to a chicken farm. The story goes something like this: 

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Is It Healthy To Watch Porn With Your Partner?

Is It Healthy To Watch Porn With Your Partner?

A reader submitted the following question:

“My partner and I have watched porn together in the past and have recently gotten a hentai video game together. After playing it, we had fun sex like we hadn't had in a long time. I worry that we may become dependent on porn to spice up our sex life. Should we be careful, or is this healthy for our relationship?”

Thanks for this very interesting question! First, let me say that you aren’t alone in finding that shared porn use can be sexually exciting. In fact, research has found that people who report watching pornography with their partners tend be more sexually satisfied overall.

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Video: The Science Behind Long-Term Relationship Happiness

Video: The Science Behind Long-Term Relationship Happiness

The U.S. marriage rate is in decline. In fact, it keeps hitting record lows. Some view this as a very discouraging sign about the state of Americans’ relationships. However, whereas this has led some to adopt a rather pessimistic view of the future, others believe there is still much reason for optimism. For example, as Dr. Helen Fisher argues in the Big Think video below, the fact that Americans aren’t rushing into marriage the way that they used to may actually signify something very positive.

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The Brain In Love (VIDEO)

The Brain In Love (VIDEO)

In this fascinating TED talk, Dr. Helen Fisher explores what happens inside the brain when we experience romantic love. To that end, Fisher describes a series of studies she conducted in which people were put in MRI machines and shown images of their loved ones. The incredible results help to explain why romantic love is such an intense and consuming state, why some couples are able to maintain passion longer than others, and why breakups can be so devastating. Fisher also explores the similarities between romantic love and addiction (for instance, you see tolerance, withdrawal, and relapse in both cases), and even considers parallels to romantic love in the animal kingdom. Check out the full video below for more on the neurochemistry behind love.

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