Episode 6: Tell Me What You Want–The Science of Sexual Fantasies
July 9, 2020 by Justin Lehmiller
What are the most common sexual fantasies in America? Where do our fantasies come from, and what do they say about us? And how can we communicate more effectively with our partners about our fantasies?
In order to answer these questions, I conducted the largest and most comprehensive study of sexual fantasies ever in the United States. I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans from all 50 states ranging in age from 18-87 and wrote a book about the nature of sexual fantasies in the U.S. today, titled Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.
In this episode of the podcast, I describe some of the key things I learned from this research, while also telling you the story behind the book (it was a long process!). I also share how writing this book completely changed my life.
I’m excited to announce that the paperback edition of Tell Me What You Want comes out this month and is available for purchase through Amazon and your favorite booksellers. I’m offering some bonus materials to those who order the paperback edition, including an extra chapter that delves into the psychology behind some of the less common sexual fantasies, as well as some fun infographics. Learn more and claim your bonus here.
Tell Me What You Want is also available as an e-book and an audiobook (narrated by yours truly—and I talk about what the experience of narrating an audiobook was like in this week’s podcast). I’m also pleased to say that there is now an interactive exhibit based on this book showing at the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas, so if you ever happen to find yourself out that way in the future, but sure to check it out!. For a behind-the-scenes look at the exhibit, check out my Instagram page.
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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.
Dr. Justin Lehmiller
Founder & Owner of Sex and PsychologyDr. Justin Lehmiller is a social psychologist and Research Fellow at The Kinsey Institute. He runs the Sex and Psychology blog and podcast and is author of the popular book Tell Me What You Want. Dr. Lehmiller is an award-winning educator, and a prolific researcher who has published more than 50 academic works.
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