How To Talk To Your Partner About Your Sexual Fantasies

There's a lot we can potentially gain from talking to our partners about our sexual fantasies. Among other things, this has the potential to increase our sexual and relationship satisfaction and to enhance feelings of intimacy and closeness. However, many of us don't quite know how to go about sharing and discussing our fantasies or desires. A lot of people feel too scared, anxious, or embarrassed to do so.

To help you get started, I created the video below, which offers some practical steps and guidelines for starting a productive and healthy conversation on this topic. I discuss some icebreaker ideas, as well as some other considerations for when and how to begin the discussion. Of course, there are no universal rules here and different things might work for different people, so be sure to keep that in mind.

For more on sexual communication strategies and the potential benefits of sharing (and maybe even acting on) your fantasies, check out my book, Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire and How It Can Help You Improve Your Sex Life.

Like what you see? To keep up with my latest sex research video creations, please subscribe to my YouTube channel

 Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology ? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook (, Twitter (@JustinLehmiller), or Reddit ( to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Image Credit: 123RF/lightfieldstudios   

What more of my videos on the science of sex: