“More and more of us are increasingly dependent, increasingly focused on the spousal relationship at the expense of this much broader social milieu we used to have.” – Eli Finkel
In this TEDx video, Northwestern University psychology professor Eli Finkel explains how the nature of marriage has changed dramatically over the last few decades. In particular, people today have fewer close social connections outside of their marriages than ever before, which has led us to expect more and more of our spouses in order to compensate. The end result is that we are putting a lot of extra stress on our relationships, which leads to a seemingly inevitable decline in satisfaction over time. But is there anything we can do to stem the tide and keep our relationships strong and healthy?
Finkel presents some compelling evidence for an intervention he calls “the marriage hack.” Basically, he demonstrates how teaching couples to look at their conflicts from an outsider’s perspective helps them to maintain higher levels of relationship satisfaction over time. And the beauty of it is that this isn’t difficult to accomplish—indeed, Finkel argues that we may be able to fundamentally change the trajectory of a couple’s relationship is as little as 21 minutes per year! Check out the video below to learn more about “the marriage hack” and what it could mean for your relationship.
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