The Ten Most-Read Questions and Answers on Sex and Psychology

The Ten Most-Read Questions and Answers on Sex and Psychology

Here's an updated list of the ten most read question-and-answer features of all time on the blog. These questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span a very wide range of topics. Many of them fall under the category of “What’s normal when it comes to sex?”  By contrast, others reflect curiosity about diverse sexual practices, as well as interest in better understanding what's safe when it comes to sex. 

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How Does Marijuana Affect Men's Sexual Health and Performance?

How Does Marijuana Affect Men's Sexual Health and Performance?

How does marijuana affect men in the bedroom? Dozens of scientific studies have been published on the topic, and here’s what we’ve learned so far.

Marijuana affects the subjective experience of sex

When researchers survey men about how marijuana impacts their sex lives, many of them report that this drug has aphrodisiac-like properties.

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The Psychology of Sadism: Why Some People Are Turned On By Others' Pain

The Psychology of Sadism: Why Some People Are Turned On By Others' Pain

Sexual sadists are people who derive arousal from inflicting pain on others. This could be physical pain, such as hitting someone else, or it could be psychological pain, such as humiliating another person. Where does this sexual interest come from? A lot of people are curious, including a reader who recently sent me the following question:

“My friend expressed that he is turned on by the idea of seeing someone feel pain and/or discomfort. He said if you want to turn him on, you should whimper or cry. Of course this isn’t his only turn on, but I wonder where it comes from. Why would seeing someone hurt turn him on sexually?”

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This Sex Position Increases The Odds Of Simultaneous Orgasm For Men And Women

This Sex Position Increases The Odds Of Simultaneous Orgasm For Men And Women

As a sex researcher, I’ve learned a lot about what it is that people fantasize about when it comes sex. In many of the fantasies I’ve heard, something I’ve noticed is that people— especially heterosexual men and women—often describe a scenario that results in simultaneous orgasm. The idea of climaxing at the same time seems to be appealing to a lot of people, so is there anything you can do to increase the chances of it actually happening in real life?

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How Can I Tell If My Partner Is Cheating?

How Can I Tell If My Partner Is Cheating?

Readers of the blog often send me their questions about sex and relationships, and one that I’ve heard several times recently concerns infidelity and whether there are any reliable indicators or red flags that your partner might be unfaithful. For example, one reader asked: “How can you tell if your man is cheating? What are the signs to look for?”

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Can Medications and Drugs Be Transferred Through Semen?

Can Medications and Drugs Be Transferred Through Semen?

Readers of the blog frequently send me questions about sex, and I’ve noticed that some of them seem to pop up more often than others. One that I find myself hearing over and over again is whether medications can potentially be transferred from one sexual partner to another through semen. For example, these are just a few of the many questions that I’ve received recently:

“My boyfriend is currently taking prednisone, which I'm allergic to. Will this steroid come to my body through his semen?”

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10 More of Your Burning Questions About Sex, Answered (VIDEO)

10 More of Your Burning Questions About Sex, Answered (VIDEO)

I’m answering more of YOUR questions about sex today. In the video below, I’ll review ten questions submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology and explore what science can tell us about each one. As in previous videos, these questions cover a very diverse range of topics, from how long people tend to spend on sex to the effectiveness of the “pull-out” method to how many people have shaved their pubic hair. The specific questions are listed below. Check out the video for the answers!

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Video: 10 Questions About Sex

Video: 10 Questions About Sex

Today, I’m answering YOUR questions about sex. I’ve put together a brief video in which I review ten questions submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology and explore what science can tell us about each one. These questions cover a very diverse range of topics, from the best sexual position for orgasm to how often people think about sex to the sexual appeal of BDSM. 

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The 10 Most-Read Q&As on Sex and Psychology

The 10 Most-Read Q&As on Sex and Psychology

Here's an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. These questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite the range of topics. Some of them are united by this theme: “What’s normal when it comes to sex?” Others, however, focus more on curiosity about different sexual practices, as well as what's safe when it comes to sex. 

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Do Men And Women Find Giving And Receiving Oral Sex Equally Pleasurable?

Do Men And Women Find Giving And Receiving Oral Sex Equally Pleasurable?

A reader asked:

“What percentage of men and women actually enjoy giving or receiving oral sex?”

Good question! Let me start by saying that oral sex has become an incredibly common sexual practice in the United States in recent years. In fact, nationally representative survey studies have routinely found that the vast majority of both men and women have engaged in this activity. For example, recent data from the National Survey of Family Growth finds that 86-87% of American adults aged 18-44 have done it at least once (see here for stats on other sexual behaviors).

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Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex For Your Health?

Is It A Bad Idea To Have Sex For Your Health?

I received an email from a reader the other day who read an article chastising a lot of popular magazines and websites for pushing the narrative that we should be having sex more often because it’s good for our health. The point of this article was to say that when sex becomes a utilitarian activity, it takes all the fun out of it—it becomes something we think we need to do instead of something we want to do. The reader asked what I thought about this idea, and my answer is simple: I completely agree. And here’s why.

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Sex Question Friday: Why Do Men Have Nipples?

Sex Question Friday: Why Do Men Have Nipples?

A reader submitted the following question:

"Why do men have nipples? Do they have some purpose I don't know about?"

Thanks for this great question! I've been asked about this many times before while teaching human sexuality classes to college students, so here's what I tell them: 

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Does Peeing After Sex Prevent Urinary Tract Infections?

Does Peeing After Sex Prevent Urinary Tract Infections?

A reader asked the following question:

“Is it true that peeing right after sex can stop you from getting a UTI?” 

Thanks for this great question. Let’s take a look at what the research says. Before we do, let me first mention that it is pretty well established that urinary tract infections (UTIs) can be caused by sexual activity; however, this appears to be something that happens to women more often than men [1].

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The Top 10 Questions on Sex and Psychology

The Top 10 Questions on Sex and Psychology

For today's post, I have put together an updated list of the ten most read Q&As of all time on the blog. As you'll see, these questions (all submitted by readers of Sex and Psychology) span quite a range of topics. However, most of them are united by the same theme: “What’s normal when it comes to sex?” What you'll see when you read the answers is that “normal” does not mean just one thing!

10. How often do married couples have sex? (It turns out that there's a lot of variability, and frequency seems to depend a lot on people's age. However, it's important to note that more isn't always better when it comes to sex and that, as we age, quality of sex becomes much more important than quantity.)

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How Do You Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work?

How Do You Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work?

A reader submitted the following question:

"I'm in a long-distance relationship and it's tough. Are there any tips or tricks to help keep a relationship alive when you can't physically be with your partner very often?"

Great question! You're not alone in finding the experience of a long-distance relationship to be difficult. However, while these relationships undeniably pose some unique challenges, it's definitely possible for them to not only work out, but to be just as strong as relationships in which the partners live close to one another.

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Sex During Pregnancy: Is It Safe?

Sex During Pregnancy: Is It Safe?

A reader submitted the following question:

"Is it OK to have sex if you're pregnant? Especially during the later months?"

You're not alone in wondering about this. In fact, survey studies have found that 25-50% of pregnant women and 25% of their partners are concerned that sex could potentially hurt or "traumatize" a developing fetus [1]. Such concerns have the effect of causing many pregnant couples to have sex less often than they'd like, or perhaps to have sex that is less satisfying than usual because they are anxious or worried. Fortunately, research suggests that these concerns are largely unfounded.

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Golden Showers and Watersports: How Many People are Sexually Aroused by Urine and Why?

Golden Showers and Watersports: How Many People are Sexually Aroused by Urine and Why?

For the last two weeks, I’ve been inundated with both reader questions and requests for media interviews on a topic I’ve rarely been asked about before: urophilia, which refers to being sexually aroused by urine. Initially, most of the inquiries were looking for comment on why a certain high-profile public figure allegedly has this sexual interest, and I was not about to get involved in that—I’m not in the business of commenting on the rumored sexual proclivities of celebrities or politicians. However, the questions I'm getting now have shifted away from attempts to understand a specific person and toward a more general curiosity about the prevalence and psychological origins of urophilia. These are the kinds of queries I’m much more inclined to answer. So, here’s what we know.

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Do Men’s Penises Get Smaller As They Get Older?

Do Men’s Penises Get Smaller As They Get Older?

A reader submitted the following question:

“I wonder, does the penis get any smaller with age? In other words, does the penis shrink as men get older?”

Thanks for this great question! If you try searching Google for the answer, you’ll quickly come across lots of articles saying that this does indeed occur—however, none of those articles actually cite any research to back up their claims. Instead, they rely on the opinions of physicians and other medical experts. That's all well and good, but I always like to have data. So, I did some digging.

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How Are “Wet Dreams” Related To Men’s Waking Sexual Behavior?

How Are “Wet Dreams” Related To Men’s Waking Sexual Behavior?

A male reader submitted the following question:

“Are wet dreams a sign that you aren’t ejaculating very much when you’re awake?”

Thanks for this very interesting question! So-called “wet dreams”—known among sex researchers as nocturnal emissions—are indeed related to men’s sexual behaviors during waking hours.

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