Sex Degrees of Separation: How Many Indirect Sexual Partners Have You Had?
Dr. Justin J. Lehmiller Posted on Wednesday, January 9, 2013 at 6:00AM 
“Every time you sleep with someone, it’s like you’re having sex with all of their previous partners.” We’ve all heard something like this before, right? The basic idea is that for every direct sexual partner you have, you also accumulate some number of indirect partners (i.e., people who are intimately linked to the person you actually had sex with). So just how many indirect sexual partners have you had? You may be surprised to find out.
A British pharmacy has developed a calculator called Sex Degrees of Separation that approximates the number of indirect partners you have accumulated based upon the total number of direct partners you’ve ever had and the age of each of those partners. Using actual sexual history data provided by thousands of British adults, the way the calculator works is that it computes the number of people each of your direct partners has likely been intimate with, as well as their partners’ partners for five “generations” out (creating “six degrees of sex,” if you will). You are then provided with the total number of persons with whom you have likely had indirect sexual contact.
How many people are we connected to on average? According to the developers of the calculator, the average British adult has had 7.65 direct partners in their lifetime, but a whopping 2.8 million indirect partners.1 You can calculate your indirect total here.
So is the calculator accurate? Not necessarily. And if you live outside the U.K., the data that went into making the calculator may not apply as well to you. However, the basic idea behind the calculator is sound because we are indeed exposed to indirect partners almost every time we have sex, and that has consequences for our sexual health. So, even though the calculator is, at best, an approximation, it is worthwhile for highlighting the fact that your partners’ sexual history has more implications for you than you might think because you're probably being exposed to more than you bargained for each time you have sex. Each new partner you have increases your risk for coming into contact with a sexually transmitted infection, especially if you do not take safety precautions. Safe sex certainly mitigates risks for contracting many infections (e.g., HIV, chlamydia, gonorrhea); however, remember that some STIs, including herpes and HPV, have the potential to be transmitted even when using condoms.
So whenever you hear the question, “What’s your number?”, keep in mind that the number of partners someone has actually slept with is not necessarily the full story and that safe sex is never a bad idea.
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1The Telegraph (2009). Brits have ‘indirect sex’ with 2.8 million people. Retrieved here.
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Reader Comments (3)
Lol! Well...if the number it came up with was even remotely true, that would be something. I think they need more information to calculate. For instance, it told me based on my age group and the age group of the man I last had sex with I would have over 2 million direct and indirect partners. Now, it asked me at what age I last had sex with said man. It did not, however, ask me how long we've been a couple, how many partners he's had, or how old he was when he last had a sexual partner that wasn't me. I think these are valuable questions considering my husband and I have been exclusive for 14 years and his last sexual partner was that wasn't me was when he was 16, and he has only had 3 partners including me. lol
This article and the service it links to came across a little as slut shaming to me.
Unless you're still having sex with your high school sweetheart, all partners since then and have never been tested for STIs, then the number of indirect people who currently have any impact on your sexual health is substantially lower.
Why focus on numbers, which makes individuals seem more like one risky potential mistake too many, than all measures of safer sex practices?
The purpose of this article and the calculator is not to "shame" anyone or to discourage people from having sex. The point is simply to educate people about some of the risks associated with sexual activity in the hope that people will practice safer sex.
Also, it seems as though a lot of people are concerned about whether this calculator makes a "correction" for monogamy and whether the results are applicable to people who have been in long-term relationships. The answer to this is that your current relationship status is irrelevant. Being involved in a long-term, monogamous relationship does not wipe out previous sexual history or reduce the number of indirect partners that stem from the people you slept with in the past. Now is the calculator accurate or at least close to accurate for everyone? No. And if you have a high number of indirect partners, does that mean that you should feel badly about yourself? No. The calculator simply approximates what your potential cumulative exposure has been to date in order to highlight just how quickly and easily infections can be spread and the value of protecting yourself.