For centuries, governments have gone to great lengths to regulate people’s sex lives. As just a couple of prime examples, bans on contraception, sex before marriage, and same-sex activity were the law of the land throughout most of the United States and many other parts of the world until recently. But these are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the government telling you what you can and cannot do in the bedroom. Below are ten of the most interesting and, of course, humorous sex laws I’ve ever heard of. As you’ll see, some of the laws are even weirder when you think about what they don’t say. Now, given that I’m not a legal scholar, I can’t necessarily vouch for the current status of these laws or whether they can still be enforced—all I can tell you is that I’ve seen them appear in multiple news stories over the years. Enjoy—but don’t enjoy so much that you land yourself in prison!
10. Texas law prohibits the sale of dildos and makes it is illegal for anyone to own more than six sex toys.
9. In Utah, you are not allowed to marry your first cousin until you reach the age of 65.
8. In Minnesota it is illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish. Editor’s note: But a dead fish is OK? And women are free to molest aquatic creatures?
7. In Florida, it is illegal for men to wear strapless gowns in public.
6. In the United States, there is no federal law banning necrophilia (i.e., sex with corpses), and only 21 states have enacted laws prohibiting it. Editor’s note: If there’s one case where perhaps we need more government regulation of sex, I think most of us could probably agree that this is a good place to start!
5. In Idaho, public displays of affection are illegal if they last more than 18 minutes.
4. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines…except in places where alcoholic beverages are sold on the premises. Editor’s note: Because sober people don’t need condoms?
3. In Connersville, Wisconsin, it is illegal for a man to fire a gun when his female partner reaches orgasm.
2. In the state of Florida, having sex with a porcupine is illegal. Editor’s note: Is sexual abuse of porcupines really so rampant that there had to be a law specifically about it? And why limit the scope of the law just to porcupines? Is having sex with non-quilled animals somehow OK?
1. An old California law prohibited either partner from orgasming before the other during foreplay. Editor’s note: I know at least a few people who wouldn’t be opposed to this law coming back!
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