“Is It Hot In Here, Or Is It Just You?” Do Pick-Up Lines Actually Work?

When you see someone attractive that you desperately want to meet, how do you break the ice? Many of us opt for a simple “hi” or “hello,” others offer a dance or a drink, and some choose to lead with an awesomely bad pick-up line (e.g., “Did you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them"). But which of these approaches is most likely to succeed? Although no technique works 100% of the time, given that every person and situation is different, research suggests that your best bet is to be direct and be yourself, but steer clear of crude and sexually suggestive pick-up lines.

In one of my favorite psychological studies of all time, heterosexual male and female college students were asked to generate some pick-up lines that the other sex might use on them and to evaluate which lines they thought would be most likely to succeed.¹ Results indicated that three separate categories of pick-up lines emerged: cute/flippant (e.g., “Isn’t it cold? Let’s make some body heat”), innocuous approach (e.g., “Have you seen any good movies lately?”), and direct approach (e.g., “Hi. I like you.”). Overall, both men and women preferred the innocuous and direct lines over the cute/flippant lines. However, women disliked cute/flippant remarks significantly more than men. To give you a better sense of how participants perceived opening lines, I’ve included a selection of some the best and worst rated lines in the tables below.

Best Pick-Up Lines Used by Men on Women

Line	Percentage of Participants Rating Line as Good
“Do you want to dance?”	63.6%
“Hi.”	60%
“I haven’t been here before. What’s good on the menu?”	58.2%
“I’m a little embarrassed about this, but I’d really like to meet you.”	56.4%
“You have really nice…” (hair, eyes, etc.)	50.4%

Best Pick-Up Lines Used by Women on Men

Line	Percentage of Participants Rating Line as Good
“Since we’re both sitting alone, would you care to join me?”	71.6%
“Hi.”	58.9%
“I’m having trouble getting my car started. Will you give me a hand?”	57.1%
“I don’t have anyone to introduce me, but I’d really like to get to know you.”	54.6%
“Can you give me directions to…” (anywhere)	47.8%

Worst Pick-Up Lines Used by Men on Women

Line	Percentage of Participants Rating Line as Poor
“Bet I can outdrink you.”	89.3%
“Is that really your hair?”	89%
“Did you notice me throwing that football? Good arm, huh?”	88.2%
“You remind me of a woman I used to date.”	86.8%
“I play the field and I think I just hit a home run with you.”	84.7%

Worst Pick-Up Lines Used by Women on Men

Line	Percentage of Participants Rating Line as Poor
“It’s been a long time since I had a boyfriend.”	81.6%
“Didn’t we meet in a previous life?”	81.3%
“Hey baby, you’ve got a gorgeous chasis. Mind if I look under the hood?”	79.5%
“I’m easy. Are you?”	79.2%
“What’s your sign?”	78.8%

If cute/flippant pick-up lines are perceived as so undesirable by women, why do so many men insist on using them? We can’t say for sure, but some researchers have suggested that this may be a strategy some men use to advertise their sexual interest or to zero in on women who are sexually available.² As you can see in the tables above, there was not 100% agreement on whether any of the lines were good or bad. In fact, there was a small but significant number of women who actually liked the cute/flippant lines. Thus, although men who use these lines will probably have a pretty low hit rate overall, guys may still end up getting lucky if they use them enough.

So what’s the take-home message from all of this? If you’re really interested in meeting someone, a simple “hello” is likely to open far more doors than some sexual innuendo.

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¹Kleinke, C., Meeker, F., & Staneski, R. (1986). Preference for opening lines: Comparing ratings by men and women. Sex Roles, 15, 585-600. doi: 10.1007/bf00288216

²Bale, C., Morrison, R., & Caryl, P. (2006). Chat-up lines as male sexual displays. Personality and Individual Differences, 40, 655-664. doi: 10.1016/j.paid.2005.07.016

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